Rant prt whatever lol..

Hey dolls so its now 1 in the am and i just cant get a few things off of my mind..ive realized that the reason why as soon as i know that a guy is interested in me i shy away and i make up excuses as to why i cant see them.when the real reason is that i never truely got over the only boy that ive ever really cared about and lets face it loved..

I really dont know why i still have feelings for him.it maybe that he still texts me from time to time and in my mind that triggers "o he still cares about me"..NO!so wrong.i dont think that he doesnt care about me.i just think he just doesnt care about the way that ive always cared about him.

I guess you cant truely move on until' uve gotten over the first.its just hard because i compare every guy i meet to himand i know its not right.its just i have to admit and i dont care who i upset but i have to be true to myself and maybe then ill be able to finally move on.i have to admit that i still care about him and i cant believe that after the ways he treated me/hurt me in the past i still just cant get him out of my system.i try and act like ive moved on and o i dont care about him we can just be friends or he doesnt have to be in my life..i need to stop lyin to myself!i know deep down inside he's the only guy that truely knows me and thats only because i felt some sort of connection with him something that i havent found in any other guy..

And here it is one in the morning and we are now talkin but i just cant find it in to confess to him how i truely feel.will that only make things worse?iam so confused on that,but atleast i know now what is holding me back from datin other guys..i cant help it i miss him..

I feel like iam about to start ramblin so im gonna go now and clear my mind while watching "whats love got to do with it"..i dont know why im watchin this movie i know i tend to get a little violent after i watch it lmao.well gonna go now nitey nite smooches and luv 2 all <3

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